Discharged from hospital on 22 Dec 2014, Monday, it was Guo Dong 过冬, admit again on 26 Dec 2014, Friday same week.
My boy having abnormal ear discharge, yellowish in color, doctor said since he is pre-mature & only at 22 days of life, he has to admit for observation before they can prescribe medication. When baby admit to hospital, mother would have to accompany & follow baby to admit because baby doesn’t know how to tell doctor their illness symptoms and the hospital is also not a nursery, mummy is responsible for baby’s feeding & diapers.
Luckily after detail observation, doctor confirms that it wasn’t discharge from ears, the yellowish patch comes from ear outer side, doctor said fungal infection, no need on antibiotic, only apply some anti-fungal cream. His eye has some discharge, doctor gave eye drop. His conditions improved, discharged after 2 days at hospital.
Many of my friends asked me why I am so quite after my delivery, why I seems to be disappear from this world, I didn’t pick up most of my friends calls, or even when I pick up, I told them I am busy and unable talk, neither I response to their sms or whatapps. I have no mobile data when at hospital, so typically I am not on facebook & whatapps. I typically have no mood to talk much when I was at hospital, despite my time was filled with taking care of my twins alone in hospital for 40 days!
When in hospital, I don’t know how to answer you when you ask if my babies are doing well, because every day there is new development on my babies’ condition.
On 11 Jan 2015, my babies admitted for the third time to hospital, this round is really serious, they have bad cough & doctor admitted them and put them on oxygen immediately. My girl even have to admit to ICU again for 2 days, in ICU, she was put in an incubator. My heart broke, she cried loudly every now & then, seems to be very scare & none of us can carry her as she has serious lung infection. I would say, I almost lost her if we delay in sending her to hospital, she coughs non-stop the night before, & she doesn’t drink for 6 hours continuously. Apart from oxygen, doctor put a feeding tube for her so that it goes direct to her stomach.
My boy admitted few hours later, daddy noticed he was having breathing difficulties, although he doesn’t need admit to ICU, his chest recession was recover much later, my girl initially can discharged at day 10 in hospital but since my boy wasn’t ready to discharge yet, we decided to be wait for my boy to discharge together. Doctor actually suggested we can discharge with my girl & leave my boy at the baby ward for nurse to take care, I didn’t want to do that because I have observed that since the nurses have to take care of so many babies, they cannot pay attention to my boy’s emotional needs. Baby wants to be carry & hold, if I leave my boy alone in the ward, the nurse doesn’t carry him when he cries, also they work based on schedule, if the feeding time is 12pm but baby starts crying at 1130am for milk, they doesn’t have time to bother and just let the baby to cry till 12pm then only feed him. Hence, regardless how tired I was taking care of them alone, I don’t want to leave my boy alone at the ward, I believe with my company, he can recover faster.
My confinement period was spent at hospital with my babies, normal government hospital ward, sleep under the fan, cold water to wash hands & typical malay food – spicy & tasteless, the whole hospital serve the same food for all wards for the day. Luckily I have my confinement lady to cook and bring meals for me.
When in hospital, my schedule:
1. I worked round the clock to take care of both twins, feeding is about every 2-3 hours for each baby, sometimes gap could be every hour as I was desperate wanted my babies to gain weight. No continuous sleep, sometimes they cried for milk together, sometimes they take turn. I asked for nurse help to feed one of them if both cried for milk, depending on the nurse, some nurse is really caring, they help with dedication, I noticed usually these nurses whom handle my babies with care are usually also a mother. Some nurse not so caring, they don’t bother to feed them well, if my baby refuse to finish the milk, they just stop feeding. As I am staying at a government hospital which advocate breast feeding, they don’t allow bottle feeding except with doctor’s approval. They provide formula milk but I have to feed babies using cup, reason is they don’t want babies to have nipple confusion and mummy suppose to breast feed baby. Then again, of course, it depends on which doctor you have, I happened to have a doctor that strongly advocate breast feeding, hence I have no choice but to use cup to feed them, which to me, is cumbersome, tedious compare to bottle feeding, and the leakage during cup feeding also doesn’t give me a good indication on how much milk that they actually drink.
2. Every morning 730am: Shower time. I have to wake up regardless, the nurse will wake me up at 7am, to tidy my bed, that’s the time when I usually feel very tired as I didn’t manage to sleep whole night taking care of twins. When they are on oxygen tube, I have to monitor them almost 24 hours as they move, the oxygen tube move as well. As my boy’s skin is sensitive, a few of the doctors said beware of eczema, his skin turn reddish when put on the sticker, hence I only stick on his hat & because of this, the tube easily move when he moves.
3. Every day there are minimum 3-4 doctors round – first houseman will examine, then follow by specialist. When they were critical, doctor also make another round during afternoon. At night, usually another doctor come & examine. The specialist is usually the same doctor ( Dr. Zurina then Dr. Farah, the rest of the doctors are all different. Whilst I appreciate my babies being closely monitor, sometimes can be quite tiring entertaining doctor as I was already very sleepy. It happened when I wanted to rest as I just managed to make both babies sleep after sleepless for 20 hours, doctor came & woke both my babies up.
I was totally broke down, I don’t know when my babies would recover, doctor said lung infection takes time, minimum one week, maximum could be few months, especially they are pre-mature babies, immune system is low. When in hospital, I came across babies whom are even more critical than my twins. I met Aishah whom baby girl – Zahra has a hole in her heart & down syndrome. She went through IVF @ HKL, it was first attempt & she was success with a baby. She said doctor said everything was fine during her pregnancy, only when she delivered, on second day, doctor told her the bad news, & when I met her, she already stayed at hospital for a month with her baby. I only able to chit chat with her a few times, was supposed to go out with her to canteen to buy food since we both bored of hospital food, but eventually we didn’t make it as most of my time was busy with my twins. One day when I try to look for her, she has left as her baby girl admitted to ICU due to oxygen level drop. I was so regret, why waste time to feel sad instead of making new friends, especially friends whom we share the same pain.
When I wasn’t pregnant, I pray to god that please allow me to have a baby, now that I have babies, I pray to god that please help my babies recover fast & please – don’t let both of them cry together, coz I don’t know which one attend to, and my hands were so painful taking turn to carry them.
Lessons Learnt:
1. Never ever expose new born with sick adult, my hubby was having flu and he has spread the virus to babies as he loves talk to them very close up, almost kissing position. Doctor said for adult, coughing is small matter, we can still work as normal, but for babies, they are not suppose to cough, when they cough continuously non-stop, usually they already have pneumonia ( lung infection ).
2. My girl started with running nose, nose block, sneezing, then coughing, she doesn't have fever even when reach hospital, doctor said if they cough non-stop, refuse feeding ( my girl didn't drink milk for more than 6 hours ), not active ( yes, my girl was closing her eyes most of the time, looks like sleeping and when I open her eyelid with hand, I saw the eye turning white instead of the black eye ball). When reach hospital, she was emergency put on oxygen tube to support breathing, her chest has deep recession shows that she has lung infection, then on antibiotic, tube feeding and next was to ICU incubator with high flow oxygen.
3. As my son has a hole in his heart ( asd ) 6mm, his recovery was much slower than his sister. Although he didn't admit to ICU, his chest recession was still obvious after 10 days, doctor said the hole makes him take longer time to recover whenever he has illness.
Later when I chat with someone I met at market, she said her grandson, whom was born pre-mature, at 8-month old, was having a bit cough, no fever, when reach hospital, pass away! The grandson was taken care by nanny at nanny's house, and they thought it was small matter for baby to cough!
I really thank god that everything is over by now, since than, I am a very sensitive mother, whenever I see hubby sneezing, even he could be having sinus, I stop & warn him not to get too close with our babies and we always argue on this.......because he said I accused him for being sick, & said want to see doctor to confirm, also he said he will stay with babies if they were to admit to hospital again...sigh! I married a China Man with Big Ego!
